Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Nekro (1998)

Aaah, corpse fucking. Cadaver boning. Postmortem poon pounding. Givin’ stiff to the stiff. Whatever you want to call it, fact is that a bit of good old necrophilia onscreen tends to be a divider among audiences. In fact, I’ve never heard anyone say “Y’know dude, regarding the subject of necrophilia in cinema, I have no strong feelings one way or the other”. Not one single person has ever said that sentence to me. No joke. 

I’m a big fan of dead body banging myself. Nothing says taboo quite like seeing some perve gettin jiggy with the dearly departed. But it’s definitely a love it or hate it kinda thing. So really, all I need to say about Nekro is that about a third of its 15 minute running time is devoted to showing a deceased broad have rather untender love made to her, and you’ll already know if you want to watch it or not. A review would be fairly redundant. But I’m gonna give you one anyway. Aren’t I nice?!

So Nekro starts off with some dude, our ‘hero’, bringing home a date in his van. Not bringing her home in an asking her in for coffee kind of way, but more in a carrying her unconscious body through the front door sense. He slowly drags her up some stairs, before the screen cuts to black and we get a short philosophical speech about how lust leads to anger and other such uncontrollable urges. A short note about the sound effects at this point: There’s a constant roar of demonic howls and laughter, presumably meant to illustrate the internal soundtrack to this psycho’s mind, that continues for almost the entire duration of the film. And it’s pretty damn effective. It sounds a little like the Deadites in the first Evil Dead only more cacophonous and chilling.

Anyway, the young lady wakes up in a dark room and has a little panic attack, before our Lancelot comes in and stabs her an unnerving number of times. It’s a brutal little sequence, with geysers of blood spewing everywhere, drenching both of them from head to toe. The FX are damn good, especially for such an obviously low-budget production. Now’s when things start to get icky. Really icky. You may want to consider not reading any further....

Still here? Ha, you sicko! So anyway, our young hero’s first port of call is to get this nubile young lady lubed up. Let’s face it, when your foreplay technique involves kidnapping a woman and mercilessly stabbing her in the chest, then vaginal fluid flowage is going to be minimal to say the least. So, he follows the time-honoured tradition of hocking a couple of loogys into his hand and smearing them on in there. I was pleased to see this classy move finally get a bit of mainstream recognition in the Oscar-nominated Brokeback Mountain. In fact, I’d say Ang Lee was heavily influenced by this film. Yeah.

Next, our libertine stoops down to give a little oral pleasure. Why does he do this? Maybe he feels a tinge of remorse for murdering this innocent and wants to make it up to her in some small way, like when douchebags hit their girlfriends and then give a teary-eyed speech about how they’re just so in love that they can’t control their emotions. Or maybe he’s just a revolting pervert. I’m going with the latter. She’s somewhat unresponsive throughout this, not even giving the obligatory “Mmm, yeah baby, that’s nice!”, so he has to imagine her squeals of delighted glee. Even when he’s finished, he’s forced to do all the work himself in getting his soldier to stand to attention. Dead chicks ‘ey? So goddamn selfish.

We finally get to the coitus itself, and it’s lengthy, ugly and a little sickening. If your neighbour happens to peer through your living room window while this is onscreen, you’ll have a very difficult time convincing that you’re mentally sound. In fact, they’ll probably move house just to get away from you. It’s very grim indeed. There’s a final twist, which I won’t spoil, but it doesn’t make much sense anyway. Despite its silliness, it does make for an extremely intense finale.

So that’s Nekro. It’s twisted, sick and actually pretty damn good. The duo who made it, Vince Roth and Mick Nards, certainly have a great deal of talent and sadly haven’t produced anything since. Overall, if you found Aftermath to be too beautiful to be disturbing, then give this one a try.