We start with a short text disclaimer from the producer, informing us that the movie is "historically accurate" and based on "documented fact". Sweet! I love history lessons that you can masturbate to! It continues on to say that the movie was made in "the hope these heinous crimes will never occur again". You see, Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS is not just an exploitation film; it's a highly moral work of social responsibility ensuring that atrocities of the past will not be repeated... with lots and lots of tits.
|Nowhere near as hot as Ilsa.|
Moving on, a rollcall is held for a new group of prisoners, who all seem to be hot naked young ladies parading around with their full lustrous bushes on display. Again, I'm not seeing anything "heinous" here. The prisoners are informed that they'll be used to help the cause of medical research, before they're promptly directed to a room to have their pussies shaved. Vaginal grooming habits aren't what I'd personally consider to be an urgent medical matter, but I suppose the surgical procedure of thatchectomy had to be pioneered at some point. It's kinda weird that it eventually became known as the Brazilian. I guess most chicks nowadays aren't comfortable with the idea of having a Nazi German between their legs. Every trip to the downstairs beautician would be like a pubic hair Holocaust. Hot wax strips would be considered like Zyklon-B for pubes.
|Still not as hot as Ilsa.|
|Almost as hot as Ilsa.|
There's a rather unsettling subtext to the 2 heroes journeys here. While the male hero succeeds in defeating Ilsa with the sheer power of his bitch-taming boner, the female heroine is utterly destroyed in the most cruel fashion, violated into helplessness for daring to show personal strength. Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS, and in fact Nazisploitation in general, could be perceived by some as being somewhat sexist and offensive. Just thought I'd point that out, just in case there are any absolute morons reading this.
|Hitler would have definitely dumped this bitch for Ilsa.|
So, I guess the big question surrounding Nazisploitation is this: What's the point? Actually, most people wouldn't even ask that question; they'd simply dismiss it all as pointless trash that exploits tragedy for base shock value. That's far too simplistic and reductive. Even if it were true, it doesn't answer anything, only creates more questions. The Holocaust may not be the worst tragedy of the 20th century, but it's the most well-publicised and talked-about, hence it holds the most weight. The burden of that weight fell primarily on the shoulders of the following generation/s, required to be intensely respectful of events that they have no memory of, and forced to carry the guilt of actions that they took no part in. 6 million corpses is far too much for any man to carry without some kind of release. Catharsis takes many forms and Nazisploitation is one of them.
In 1950s Israel, while the Holocaust victims were still nursing their psychological wounds, a form of pulp literature known as 'Stalags' became popular - erotic novels involving concentration camp prisoners being sexually brutalized by buxom female wardens, with titles like 'I Was Colonel Schultz's Private Bitch'. Holocaust pornography. Ilsa in word form, 20 years before the movie was released. The main audience for these stalags was the children of Holocaust survivors, rebelling against the guilt placed upon them by their parents, just as Catholic schoolgirls become blowjob queens to spite the nuns that chastise them for wearing short skirts. When Jewish porn star James Gurman (aka Jamie Gillis) banged a young German lady of Nazi descent, he spiced up their sex by asking her to hurl anti-Semitic abuse at him in German, which she did with ferocious enthusiasm. It's all catharsis; a release from carrying dead people's baggage.
Beneath the superficialities that divide us - different races, different skin colours, different opinions - there's still a force that can bind us all as one people. We're united by the fact that, deep down, whether we realise it or not, we're all just fucked-up, weird, disgusting perverts. Our blood is always red and our buttholes all basically taste the same after a good shower. So let's say nay to Nazis, but a big yay to Nazisploitation. Let the freak flag fly high and proud over all of us. It's the only symbol worth saluting.
|Aah yeah, that's the stuff.|