|^^ What I hope to look like someday.|
On the positive side, since growing a beard, I'm been informed by more than one person that I look like a terrorist. Noone ever told me that when I was clean-shaven. I'm taking that as a positive sign, as any bearded man would.
|The Master approves of beards. So should you.|
Here are a few amazing facts about beards that will entertain, educate and astound you -
Amazing Beard Fact #1: The beard is the only body part that a man can compliment another man on, without said compliment sounding like a gay pick-up line. Take a simple statement like - "Hey man. I really like your beard." Nothing homoerotic 'bout that. Now substitute another body part, like this random example - "Hey man. I really like your penis and balls." Notice how, in making the compliment about something other than beards, the same sentence develops subtle, homosexual undertones? Fascinating stuff.
|The Amityville Horror - Crap movie. Great beard.|
Amazing Beard Fact #2: All women love beards. Upon seeing a man with a good beard, the average woman will think to herself, "Golly gosh, I wouldn't mind having that handsome fellow's facial fuzz tickling my landing strip!". Every woman who reads this has thought those exact words on many occasions. That's scientifically provable. If a woman claims to not love beards, she is in fact openly admitting that she loves beards even more than those women who wear their beard-love proudly.
|Beards can help fending off both icy cold weather and flesh-assimilating alien creatures.|
Amazing Beard Fact #3: The only member of ZZ Top without a beard is named Frank Beard.
|They've got beards. And they know how to use them.|
Amazing Beard Fact #4: This is the greatest beard ever grown -
|Asbestos Felt: Patron Saint of Beards.|
Anywayz, I can't think of any clever way to end this post. So instead, here's a song about beards by a band called The Beards.